为了AW而二战GRE，求大家斧正一篇ISSUE！
32636
好吧，我4月27考了第一次G。但是AW=3……梦校的AW线是4，只好重考
昨晚写了一篇ISSUE，照着李建林那本书的思路来的，也有少许的句子是从提纲上摘抄的。在写作过程中，其实我很明白文章的总体结构应该如何，但是在每个论点的展开过程中，还是感觉力不从心。比如下面这篇：
//ISSUE0817
It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time.Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician.
//my answer
It’scommon that politicians may avoid telling the truth. However, it doesn't follow that honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician. In fact, a skilledpolitician should learn to tackle such embarrassing situations and seeminglyparadoxes, thus acquire the art of keeping honesty while avoid always tellingthe truth.
//先总体讲一下自己少许同意“政客不可以总是讲实话”，但是也不能说谎。
To beginwith, it is known that political leader may have to avoid speaking aboutcontroversial topics or disclosing the truth. For their party's interest, forinstance, it is not conducive to talk about the party's relationship withanother one, which could cause much dispute over the party’s public relations,causing damage. It is appropriate behavior for political leaders to simplysmoothly avoid such topics. Also, there are specific situations when tellingthe truth is even harmful to the nation and a virtuous shunning is beneficialfor the whole society. An example is never hard to find, when there is animpending hurricane, telling public the truth will inevitably result in socialturbulence, while shunning the truth and organizing an effective evacuation ismerited ability for a political leader.
//第二段开始详细论述“政客在某些情况下的确不能说实话”
However,not always telling the truth doesn't certainly lead to the disdain of honesty.There is a wider range of behaviors which can be classified as shunning thetruth, of which one example is just shunning telling the truth, rather thanlying, and there exists a wide gap between two concepts. For instance, when youask the president about some confidential information, he could just eschew thetopic, rather than lying to you. It is obvious that lying is unacceptable for apolitician, while shunning from the truth is accepted.
//反驳1，不说实话不能等同于“说谎”
Moreover,honesty is always of vital significance for people, especially for politicians.Politicians hold the public power, making it rather significant to keep honestyand probity. Assume that the politicians tell lies in order to secure their owninterest, how could such society keep stable and productive? We have alwayshoped our descendent to keep honest and save their virtues, without virtuouspoliticians, how could we convince our children when the exemplary of thesociety tell lies? Moreover, it is likely that the public will vote for a dishonestpolitician.
//反驳2，诚实是人的基本美德
To sumup, the general expectation for a politician is a genius who can be honest whenfacing the public and tackling public affairs, and at the same time skillfullyavoid embarrassing situations when telling the truth may cause damage to theirinterest. It’s challenging for politicians to achieve such prowess.
//然后总结一下，政客应当学会“不说实话”，但又不能说谎，这是一门处世的艺术。
总体结构就是这样的。现在有几个问题：
1，在写作过程中，感觉例子很难详细展开。比如第二段绿色字体的部分，这是一个很好的论点，但是只简单地用一句话来描述这个例子是不是有点单薄？应当如何改正？
2，同时，深感自己词汇量之不足。背红宝之后的确认识了不少词汇，但这些词汇都是passive的，而非active，也就是说在写作过程中脑子蹦不出这样的单词。只能多练了是吧？
3，我的这篇作文还有别的问题，比如语法、衔接、逻辑错误等，请大家不吝赐教！
昨晚写了一篇ISSUE，照着李建林那本书的思路来的，也有少许的句子是从提纲上摘抄的。在写作过程中，其实我很明白文章的总体结构应该如何，但是在每个论点的展开过程中，还是感觉力不从心。比如下面这篇：
//ISSUE0817
It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time.Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician.
//my answer
It’scommon that politicians may avoid telling the truth. However, it doesn't follow that honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician. In fact, a skilledpolitician should learn to tackle such embarrassing situations and seeminglyparadoxes, thus acquire the art of keeping honesty while avoid always tellingthe truth.
//先总体讲一下自己少许同意“政客不可以总是讲实话”，但是也不能说谎。
To beginwith, it is known that political leader may have to avoid speaking aboutcontroversial topics or disclosing the truth. For their party's interest, forinstance, it is not conducive to talk about the party's relationship withanother one, which could cause much dispute over the party’s public relations,causing damage. It is appropriate behavior for political leaders to simplysmoothly avoid such topics. Also, there are specific situations when tellingthe truth is even harmful to the nation and a virtuous shunning is beneficialfor the whole society. An example is never hard to find, when there is animpending hurricane, telling public the truth will inevitably result in socialturbulence, while shunning the truth and organizing an effective evacuation ismerited ability for a political leader.
//第二段开始详细论述“政客在某些情况下的确不能说实话”
However,not always telling the truth doesn't certainly lead to the disdain of honesty.There is a wider range of behaviors which can be classified as shunning thetruth, of which one example is just shunning telling the truth, rather thanlying, and there exists a wide gap between two concepts. For instance, when youask the president about some confidential information, he could just eschew thetopic, rather than lying to you. It is obvious that lying is unacceptable for apolitician, while shunning from the truth is accepted.
//反驳1，不说实话不能等同于“说谎”
Moreover,honesty is always of vital significance for people, especially for politicians.Politicians hold the public power, making it rather significant to keep honestyand probity. Assume that the politicians tell lies in order to secure their owninterest, how could such society keep stable and productive? We have alwayshoped our descendent to keep honest and save their virtues, without virtuouspoliticians, how could we convince our children when the exemplary of thesociety tell lies? Moreover, it is likely that the public will vote for a dishonestpolitician.
//反驳2，诚实是人的基本美德
To sumup, the general expectation for a politician is a genius who can be honest whenfacing the public and tackling public affairs, and at the same time skillfullyavoid embarrassing situations when telling the truth may cause damage to theirinterest. It’s challenging for politicians to achieve such prowess.
//然后总结一下，政客应当学会“不说实话”，但又不能说谎，这是一门处世的艺术。
总体结构就是这样的。现在有几个问题：
1，在写作过程中，感觉例子很难详细展开。比如第二段绿色字体的部分，这是一个很好的论点，但是只简单地用一句话来描述这个例子是不是有点单薄？应当如何改正？
2，同时，深感自己词汇量之不足。背红宝之后的确认识了不少词汇，但这些词汇都是passive的，而非active，也就是说在写作过程中脑子蹦不出这样的单词。只能多练了是吧？
3，我的这篇作文还有别的问题，比如语法、衔接、逻辑错误等，请大家不吝赐教！
6条回复